Potter And The Wease!
by PookietoyourMaureen
Summary: Every wonder what happened after the war? Well, let's fill you in on exactly what happened. Minus a few details, of course.


**_Hey everybody! Brief explaination about this:  
It is a totally random, drabbly alternate ending to Harry Potter that makes no sense whatsoever. My friend found out I had gone into a three-day depression after finishing the last book, and started this with me. We wrote it back and forth over Facebook. It makes me smile. I hope you feel the same._**

**_Peace, Love, Hobos  
Read, Love, Review_**

* * *

"But wait there's more! Harry and Ron make a band and call it 'Potter and the Wease!' They travel around England making Millions of dollars!"

But didn't you hear?  
It's not just England anymore! Potter and the Wease! are coming to all magical cities, from Russia, to Japan, to America! First stop will be Godric's Hollow (As has been their tradition, at Harry's emotional request), and their final stop will be in the wondrous wizarding city of Longmont, Colorado.

But right when Ron is tuning his guitar Draco shows up and puts the Imperius Curse on Ron and forces him to join his band: "Lady Malfoy"

Lady Malfoy, incidentally, is almost an entirely male singing group. Except, of course, one Asian, who we're still fuzzy about the exact gender of. Either way, this boy has little to no singing talent, so at least Ron won't be lonely.

IN THE MEANTIME...  
Hermione feels terribly betrayed by this seemingly willing change of bands by her boyfriend. She begins to suspect that not every song has been played, and that she better strike a chord of her own before she loses anyone else.  
Harry, of course, remains oblivious.

To keep Harry from getting angry Hermione dresses up like Ron and performs. Coincidentally she is actually good. But sadly because Harry and Ron sleep at hotels Hermione and Harry share a bed together.

IN THE MEANTIME...  
Crabbe and Goyle decide to leave the Lady Malfoy band leaving Draco Ron and Pansy Parkinson (also Alex Berlin's nickname). Malfoy then gets angry and kills Crabbe Goyle Ron and Alex Berlin. Leaving him the sole survivor of the once terrible band.

"Ron..." Harry says, before unleashing the terrible bomb onto Hermione. "Why are you all the way on the other side of the bed?" He pats the section of bed beside him. "I thought we decided what Hermione doesn't know can't throw canaries at you."  
For a moment, Hermione is speechless. When she recovers her powers of communication, the first words out of her mouth are, "What the bloody hell are you on about mate?"

Luckily, saving them from an awkward moment, her cellular phone rings. Hermione rushes to the phone and picks it up. Malfoy, through his stalker-tendencies of following Hermione like a love-struck puppy-dog, has managed to acquire the number through which Hermione could be reached.  
While Malfoy attempts to woo his beloved after delivering the news of her boyfriend's death, Harry attempts to piece together what Ron is doing with Hermione's Cell phone. And her voice.

"Draco, How did you get my phone number?" says Hermione. "Baby I love you!" says Draco, "I killed your precious boyfriend and now you shall be mine!" "WHAT??" says Hermione, "Ron's Dead!?" Surprised Harry yells out, "What, you're not Ron? Who are you??" Then at that very moment Draco apparates into the hotel room with a crack! "I've come to fetch you my love!" he shouts.

Hermione, who is still reeling from the fact that Ron was dead, was also trying to resist strangling Harry for leading Ron to cheat on her. The end result was her leaping into Malfoy's arms, kissing him passionately. "WHAT THE HELL RON?" Harry shouts.  
"I'm not Ron." Hermione says coolly, removing the wig and taking down her hair.  
Harry stares for several seconds before he can react to this.

"Who are you?" says Harry.

"I take many forms and I have taken the form of your friend Hermione who has dressed up like Ron."

"If you're not Hermione than who are you?"

"My name is James Harper. I am here to transport you to the land of Pink Fairy Tale Slippers."

"You're what?"

"You see Harry, Voldemort tried all these years to take you to the land of Pink Fairy Tale Slippers but you destroyed him, and his destiny. It's now my turn to take you down."

Malfoy, upon hearing that the woman/man he had just kissed was not his beloved, screamed, and faints on the ground.

On the other hand, Harry believes he's capable of defeating this new trouble without the help of either of his dearest friends. Or, at least, without the help of Hermione's brain, which, let's face it, got him through most of his life. He tugs his wand from out of his robes and aims it at James. "Take me down? I think not."

A great fight erupts. Harry and James fight and break several items within the hotel room. "Harry!" says James, "It is your destiny! You must come!"

"No!" replies Harry, "I will not!" Their is a knock on the door. A disgruntled hotel manager comes in and complains to them to keep the sound down.

James levels his wand at the hotel manager, shouting, "AVADA KEDAVRA!" The hotel manager slumps to the floor, as Harry screams bloody murder.  
"I will avenge this poor man!" He shouts.  
James looks bored. "Yes, yes. Revenge. After you come with me to the land of Pink Fairy Tale Slippers! You will not escape your fate!"

Harry turns around and kills James with Avada Kedavra. "Good Golly Gee! I'm glad that's over! But wait? Where's Hermione?"

As if a magic spell had awoken him (Or, as Dumbledore would say, he was influenced by the power of looooove,) Draco popped up. "Hermione? Where is my beloved?!"

And thus, it was decided that the two of them, once enemies (and would rather stay enemies) would combine forces and search for a specific bundle of unkept hair.

But they couldn't find her. And his brain had not pained Harry for nineteen years. All was well.

Draco Malfoy, on the other hand, died of horrible lung cancer from smoking too many cigars. Until his final breath, however, he claimed Hemione was waiting for him.

All was indeed well for the world. Scar.


End file.
